its so screwed inside

its retarded inside that kid wont stop cryin they cant figure out why noone is showin any emotion at all sept that kid and the other one....Rain Tasha and she dont know why she is feelin the way she is.....we have asked so Tyrone has left to find the Ramadons because they aint answering sooooo in a few days we will know more anyway thats pretty much it if i missed anything just ask

Reckless

well

well number 2 has almost completly woken up and is now crying at the top of her lungs and will not let anyone near her at all. We have still not figured out why she is awake or how for that matter and not being able to get near her makes things alot worse for us. I have called Luther back and Tyrone is going to call the Ramadons back or atleast ask for their advise, He does not want to because they were so drained from thier last bowt front that he does not want to desturb them again. We are going to try for a few more days atleast to try and get lead way with her but if it does not work then Tyrone will call on Terrence again. Everytime someone gets within 5 feet of her she screams and cries so noone will chance it again.

Robin

it seems

It seems that number 2 is waking up, That is the reasoning behind the emotionless looks inside, We have not figured out why she is waking up but from what Luther told me this has never happened before, Number 2 has been asleep for 25 years the reason is very tramatic and not something i will post because of its triggering quality. But for some unknown reason she is waking and has been since the 23rd of december. Now the problem is we do not know how or why or even when or what to do. She is having an effect on the system as a whole and again not to sure as of why it is that way. Shanoah has been called as well as Demonica in hopes that they will be able to understand why and fill us in or they will know who will be able to explain this to us. Number 2 has been in a sound proof padded room fast asleep for 25 years and now she is beginning to awake and we do not understand why. Everyone is mono tone inside they still go on day to day just without emotion. So there it is now we have to figure out how to deal with it.

Robin

not to sure

well we are not to sure about today......for some reason it just did not feel like christmas should feel. There was an empety feeling that just would not go away all day it has been there, we went to the brothers house to watch our neices open their gifts and we were blah in feeling. There was a void there that just did not ease off. We thought maybe it was because we were so tired but as the day went on the feeling did not go away. We went and did our rounds to our brothers house and mikes sisters house then to the other sisters house then we came home to continue cooking our dinner. When we got back we sat with mike and opened all our gifts and yet with everything that we got the void was still there. We hugged and thanked mike for all he gave us and pasted on a smile yet it was fake. We cooked dinner and got everything together and then ate thought maybe it was because we had not eaten in a long while so once we were done we sat on the couch to watch some t.v and yet the voidness was still there. I went on a search to find the sorce and came up with nothing. It is all over inside there just seems to be no feeling at all anywhere except when it comes to Rain Tasha, She seems to be over experiencing feelings they seem to be going to an extreme with her. I have contacted Luther and he will be here shortly and maybe he can help us figure it out. Today we thought that everyone would be so happy with their gifts and such yet there was no emotion at all from anyone. It is a blank expression all around, Noone is really talking to each other and there is no emotion on anyones face except Rain's and hers are expressions of fear, anziety,stress, mistrust and sadness. The void has actually escalated since this morning and all is done and over with. So as of right now i am unsure of our next step but i will post when i have more news.

Robin

it is that time

it seems to be that time of year again....it always seems to sneak up when you least expect it to....seems though that after all that has happened here in the last 2 almost 3 months there does not seem to be any big triggers happening which is a good thing.......everyone inside is awake now and regular duties have gone back to order, the anziety level is way low and so is the stress not getting hopes up or anything but maybe this christmas is going to be alright for once.....went to toronto on saturday to pick up a really good friend of ours and on the way back we ran into a huge snow storm......the roads were slick and driving slowed to a crawl but it was safer that way being how we were on a 400 series highway which is like 4 lanes : we made it through that ok missed our turn to come home though and ended up driving an extra hour and a half, went to bed when we got home and woke up to nearly 4 feet of snow on the ground that was not cool for alot of us but the younger ones just loved it theywent tobogganing and built a snowman then it was time to come in cause well we almost had frostbite lol because of the age size and the tires on our car when driving everyone is restricted from fronting because well the roads suck and an accident is not something we want right now......we are going christmas shopping tomorrow in the town next to us well its about an hour and a half away but they have better stores and they are cheaper so that is where we are headed.......today it was dreary outside because it was trying to rain so i can just imagine what the roads will be like if it does no matter we are going come hell or high water lol its an outing for us which is something we do not get very often. we bought another car today for 500 bucks its a 1991 dynasty and all it needs is some body work and the front brakes so we can park our car and fix it right because here in ontario our car is classed as a classic because it is 25 years old so we want to look after it and fix it up so it can go in car shows and stuff so yeah anyway thats pretty much it

The Crew

we are somewhat back

well we are somewhat back for the most part, most have been woke up and are funtioning at their old jobs again others have been left asleep because of the damage that was done to them in the dome. Everyone seems alot happier then what they were when they went in including Wolf which is awesome. Terror and his puppets were not what we had expected to be pinned against but we made it thanks to everyone who held support for us both inside and out. Terror himself is now locked deep within a cave never to return up front again even though he was given an option to change and join us. He was deprogrammed but the damage was already done to him and it was to severe to undo so he will remain there until whenever. The others that were under his lead have now decided that they will join Luther in the forest so they can help him do his job with greater ease then before. Tyrone is funtioning as always but happier then before and we have met some others while this all took place that we did not know even lived within our system. We have come away with a better understanding of how things work inside and what are some trigger buttons. We are well on our way to stablizing again and we do hope it stays that way for a bit just till the new year atleast then well who knows really. So that is pretty much the short version of it someone else might post exactly what happen i donno but there it is

Farren

here it comes

well it happened Daemon is now runnin lose inside and there aint noone around that i can see just me and my brother and Daemon. I have been callin for 3 days straight now for someone ANYONE to come front and yet there is nuthin and noone i aint to sure what to do or whats goin on but i know it aint good i tried to wake some up in the dome today and got nowhere sept sore fists and the feelin of big time defeat. so i have been holdin front best i can and hopin that sooner or later someone will come. i started eating yesterday even though food is not my thing at all but i started to feel real sick and worn out so the guy we live with checked our blood sugar and it was 3.9 he said that wasnt good we had to eat so i did checked it today after eatin stuff and it was 4.9 so i dont know if thats good or bad or what but thats what it was so here i am not to sure what else to do sept sit around till help comes and hope its soon i am workin with my brother to teach him things are ok now that he can do stuff he wants to do and he seems to be doin somewhat ok with it still wont eat or go to the bathroom but we are workin on it. so thats about it oh also was showerin and stuff today and found a small lump right infront of our left ear so gotta go to the doctor and get that checked i guess thats what the guy says that we live with. so guess we are doin that tomorrow our appt is at 2:30 so we will see

IMARI

you know what

i may only be 14 but im not fuckin stupid by any means, my little brother was out and yes he has issues with his speech but you know what that dont make him any less of a person that dont mean hes "flashin" it dont mean shit sept that he has a speech problem so dont push him or call to others or get freaked out when you talk to him when he says he is fine he damn well means he is fine if he wernt he would tell you. i also know that you all have never met me before and alot of you dont like me but you know what im not here to be liked im here for other reasons much more important then being liked by people. yes i have an attitude and yes i can be rude and very cautious but you know what walk a mile in the shoes i have and then see how your opinion will change. as it stands right now shit is going to go down if inside dont change real soon someone is going to wake up and all hell will break lose because he is feeding on the fact that all are sleeping and not guarded i can stop him from getting front but thats all i can do so dont judge me or my brother for the way we are cause you aint lived in our shoes iffin you dont like my act dont swing off my gate as my dad use to say another words if you dont like me stay away from me plain and simple im not here to be friends im here to keep the system safe so deal and if my brother is out dont go making him feel worse by callin someone else out cause you cant deal with him just dont talk to him

peace out
IMARI

Hello.

Hello everyone. My name is Shanoah i come from the tower on level 3. I have been watching for a very long time and have decided that they do need my help here so i have come to offer assistance. I am mainly here for Tyrone because someone needs him and right now he is not in very good shape to be of help to anyone. This person has always been there and we would like to return the favor the only way we can as to be there for them. So here i am and i am willing to answer any questions you may have.

Shanoah

The front

Well things seem to be almost back to normal up front, The cleaning is still going on and all but 6 of us are still asleep. The Ramadons and The Honorables have returned to where they came from very tired and worn out from being here for so long. We have 4 newbies to the front they are Farah, Sally, DarTanyon and Jersey. I would like to say welcome to them and i do hope they will feel comfortable. One other new yet not so new person to the front is Turccan we have made some modifications and now he has become Farah and sally's "father figure" Welcome all of you. I would also like to thank all those who have helped over the last little while we really appreciate the effort. Everyone else in here is still asleep to heal from what the dome had done to them ( They are also still asleep because i am enjoying the quiet for now :P) Their healing is much needed and they will get as much as i can give them. Home life has been a little ackward as we are getting phone calls from people we would rather not associate with and would rather they just disappeared. We also got a visit from the last person we expected and actions were taken to remove her immediatly along with her friends. I do hope that she got the point but in my heart i know she will be back. But that is for another day. So this is whats going on and again thank you to all those who have lent a hand.

Tyrone ~~GateKeeper~~

ok question

ok so here it is i was speaking to someone last night ( wont reveal name cause thats not right) and they told me that i dont have to do all the stuff i was spose to do when we were little....now why is that so? why is it that it is ok now to not do it but it wasnt ok then? i know we are not were we were 25 years ago but i still feel the need to do the things i use to do "just incase" i have been told repeatedly that it is alright but i see it as slacking off or goofin off whatever you call it and things dont get done and when they eventually do they arent done right, so what is wrong with taking the extra time to do things right so nuthin bad happens makes sence dont it? DarTanyon says we're cool an things arent like they were but what if ya know??? and how do you change what you have been taught for so long?? i was taught that things are not clean unless you spend atleast 6 or more hours cleaning itwhatever it may be, now thats wrong? now i dont have to do it that way, what has changed when it comes to bein clean? i mean dont get me wrong im not callin anyone out but i would like to know ya know? i mean are they truely 100% positive that nothing bad will happen if i dont take that much time to do things? anyway i guess i will go for now thats all i wanted to say

Jersey

Our saying for the day

Terror and control

ok well things seem to have calmed down quite a bit front and a bit further back. All those who were running amuck inside were caught and the one who was controlling their behaviour has also been caught and has been walled up so he cannot cause problems for now, I say for now because saying forever always ends up catching you with you pants down so to speak. So i will say fornow in the hopes that it is a very long time before this happens again. All those that are within the dome still have a bit of healing to do before they can be released and as far as the Ramadons go they have all gone back to sleep after a long and tiring battle. They were not ment to be front for as long as they were and it has wore them out extremely. I have begun clean up and will also begin rebuilding most likely tonight. There is alot of damage to the front rooms have been distroyed all toys that were front for the littles ones have burnt along with most everything else that was here. Luther is going to hang out front for a bit with me and help organize it all again so it can be somewhat normal when everyone wakes and starts moving around again. I am also going to build a room for Farah and Sally because they have decided to stay front instead of going back to sleep. They are going to be in charge of the littles rooms that have been destroyed with the help of others. Out of the 6 that were under Terrors control only 1 seemed to return to a "normal" person all the rest had to be locked away, They were given an option to change or be locked away where they could not cause any more harm and they chose the latter which was to be locked up in the further cave from front so they can live their remaining life there away from everyone, They CHOSE to be there so that is what they got. Anyway that is about it the phone calls have not stopped so i do believe we are going to have to have our number changed i will have to call about that tomorrow so until then we still have our ringer shut off it is safer and less triggering that way.

Jersey

ok well

ok well i changed my font cause im sick of seein white, anyway was talkin with BloodNight today and apparently Sameyel was in contact with him and wants to do the thing early to "catch us off guard" he has been playin a nasty little game with the little ones further back and has them all convinced that if they do not help him he will k*ll them all and they will be tortured for eternity. he has them running back and forth wakin others that shouldnt be awake and also sneakin out and cuttin the body all to hell. i caught one tonight just before he cut us and he freaked right out i mean seriously it was scary he was so convinced that he was going to be tortured somemore cuz he was caught that he passed out right in front of me i got him to Terrence who brought him around and now he is in a special light tent with Kirtana he wont talk though just huddles in the corner and says "im dead, im dead" Terrence told BloodNight to step it up so i guess its gonna happen tomorrow night instead of the 15th. Terrence has brought Luther and his Legion front they are hiding out and then there are a few others waiting plus myself so i guess we will see what happens. got a phone call today that was very unpleasent from a person i have dreaded and hated for our entire life, said they couldnt wait to see us again so we could all go back to the way it was and then hung up. got a few others today one being a unknown name and when i picked up they asked for Darigan, when i asked who it was they hung up so go figure. i dont care they dont scare me so they can do whatever they want, we have call screening so i can block the number when it comes up again. anyway so thats the plan so hopfully it goes right if it does then cool if not well back to the drawing board.

DarTanyon

the dark and twisted side

here i am standing front i rose from the not so nice part of this system, now i know whats going on here and so far other then capturing one....the darker ones are winning, today our hand was placed on a very hot pot handle resorting in a bandaged hand and pain medication. there was a note explaining why it was done and what would happen if they continued to fight. im not sure what their plan is now but they all look so very tired and close to the edge, they are moving on and looking for the "light" shall we say but they cannot see it, yes they may tell you they can but they dont, 2 of them have already left because they have given up, the funny thing about all this is that they all were warned by Rogan this was going to take place, they did take precaution but they did not do it throughly enough, and here is the consequence because of it. i was speaking to a really good friend of the system today and she informed me that she has seen this coming for a little bit now, she noticed things that were not right with the system and she thought it was just stress so she left it alone. today she apologized for that. It was not her fault and i did explain that to her. she stopped talking to the system for a bit because she was always greeted with nastyness when she tried. i was the one to contact her and she explained everything to me as i explained to her what was going on with us. she wants us to go to the hospital for observation and for safety but that is not an option, the hospital does not do that here. the ones whoare left front are doing their best but you can see them slowly wearing down from being sleep deprived and they slowly feel as if they are going insane. i do not want to prsent myself as of yet because where i came from they will most likely not accept me because i back in 1993 was the cause of their hospitalization and almost total destruction. I have learned since then that our past is NOT what our future holds, it could hold happiness and freedom but i at the time was also programmed to destroy. i did not realize that i did have my own mind and thoughts and could actually be a part of something good for once all i knew was what i had been taught in the most cruelest manor but taught none the less. i have changed and want to help it is just a matter of how to present myself without getting thrown in with Marc.

BloodNight

boo hoo

my god all you do around here is bawl and cry and bitch that things are going wrong well here is a news flash, GET USE TO IT. your friends over on the other blog beat their problem but aparently this sam chick was not as strong as she thought and she took to damn long to get her shit together that wont happen here, i called mother tonight and she is happy that we are awake and moving along with our plan as was planned by her a while ago. i like how you put everyone to sleep because its less stress for us trying to fight with them. so thank you for that. i also heard your plan to bring Luther front and his gang of creeps but they cannot stop us either. we will follow through, oh and i like your little plan with the T in 2 weeks...problem is do you think you will last that long? remember the hot water? still burns like a bitch dont it......waist down nice and bright red its a beautiful color really. you will see much more of it in the days to come

Darigan

my question is this....

ok so i have been "asleep" for well what seems to be 10 years or more i dont really know and really dont care. anyway my question is this....what do people REALLY mean when they say "I care" because it seems to me that nothing has changed since the last time i was awake.....back then we had a load of friends who said that exact phrase and here we are 10 years later and guess what....none of them are to be found ANYWHERE....so what does it really mean..."i care until i just cant be bothered anymore" or "i care until something else more interesting comes by" or " i care until you frustrate me to the point that i walk away" or " i care until i get so pissed off at not understanding you that i dump our friendship forever" or " i care but only when i feel like it" or " i care but dont bug me because i have problems of my own" i mean i could go on forever about this. why do people say it if in reality they really dont give a shit one way or the other, people claim they care because they are your friend but it never really turns out that way, what it boils down to is this " it was all i could think of to say" why exactly do people pretend they actually care when they dont? why not just walk away from the start and then less pain is caused because they were never there to start with.the way i see things is if you dont care then dont say you do, and if you truely do give a damn they stick with it dont give up and walk after 1 year or 10 years of friendship people do not realise how much pain they actually cause a person when they walk out of their life or they do and again they just dont care. i also believe that the phrase "im sorry" is way over used these days because its a quick out for people they say it and all is cool when in reality they didnt even mean it. so if you dont mean it why say it? just keep your damn mouth shut. it is NOT ok to say "i care" if you dont and it is also NOT ok to say "im sorry" if you dont mean it. it really pisses me off that people use those phrases so freely and then in the end they walk out or they just hurt you again. oh by the way this is not toward anyone in this blogging thingy here these are just my thoughts on past and recent happenings.

DarTanyon

Life is very bizarre

Life is very bizarre these days, One moment you are what you think is free and moving on and the very next moment you are trapped under a weight so heavy that you believe yourself to be dieing and your only thought is " how did i let this happen" I am not sure if anyone else thinks this way but we do many times, We have dragged ourselves from the gutter more then once just to be shoved into another almost instantly. I find it remarkable that a system can go through what they do and still servive. Now mind you not all systems do, Today is the anniversary of a dear friend we had long ago their host name was "Yvonne" We spoke with them almost nightly and into the dawn just trying to keep each other afloat in times we thought we would not make it. We spoke on the phone and wrote letters to each other it was a great relationship. they to had suffered only it was in the hands of their father that the suffering took place. they finally at the age of 13 moved in with their uncle and aunt and tried to start their life brand new. It seemed to work for a while and we met when they were 17. We laughed and cried together for 6 years, and then one day 3 years ago we got a phone call from their aunt, Yvonne had overdosed and was in coma in the hospital. We went to see them they lived 3 hours away from where we did and we hitchhiked just to see them. When we got there we were greeted with the aunt and uncle who asked us right away why Yvonne would do such a thing what was wrong with her. IWe could not tell them because we did not know. We sat with Yvonne for 2 days straight and then we had to leave. When we got home there was a letter waiting for us from Yvonne stating quite clearly that they just could not do it anymore it was all to much and they had noone. They wrote that they loved us very much and thanked us for being their friend and that we would never be forgotten. Now here we sit wondering what we are going to do and how we are going to servive and the answer is clear the same way we always have we have not made it this far just by luck alone there is a reason and that reason is to remember all those who could not make it this far to fight for them to remember them and to never let them be forgotten. Yvonne was special in many ways but they could just not fight their dem*ns there were just to many and they were so very young. So this is for you Yvonne may you not be forgotten and to all the others who have been we will remember and we will fight to keep your memory alive.

Forgotten Few

Not so sure of ourselves right now

hi well not to sure right now how we are going to make it through this things seem to be sliding down hill and it seems to be a snowball effect life inside is hellish to say the least and it is not getting any better, it is just us Ramadons and the honorables front that are copherent and 1 lonely little girl who wont speak or move from where she is. it is puzzling because noone should be awake or even moving with us here yet she stands at a distance and watches our every move. she is only i would say 4 maybe 5 years old very dirty looking and bruised also very thin and sickly looking. not a one of us can get near her because she screams and goes into a rage if we try. what is left of us is very very tired and dragged out because we were never ment to be front for this long. we are trying to cope but its hard when you have noone in real life who understands you and can sit with you just to be a friend. We called the number Terrence got and what happen is what we had expected they did not understand and got very confused then in the end they thought it was a prank and threatened to have our number traced and call the police on us. So we now sit here hoping for the best and waiting.

Lexi

Please

Hello, My name is Terrence and i am one of the head leaders for this system. We have encountered a problem within and it has come to my attention that this is something we have never dealt with before. We have however found the source of the problem. It is a shadow program created when the body was a very small child. It took place at a ceremony that was involved with the c*lt. I am unable to resolve this problem as of yet and was wondering if anyone out there has had any kind of experience with this sort of thing before? And if so how did you resolve it? I am at a loss here and with some of the others front the rest are either sleeping or frozen in time due to what we carry within us. I am not sure how to comprehend this program it seems to be in a different language unknown to us. Any help would be very greatful.

Terrence

Hi there ( trigger)

Well it seems this whole Sam thing is a shadow program from the past way way way back when the body was 3-4 years old, seems that it was implanted when we were dragged to a cerem*ny, Kirtana was the one who attended and it seems she was at that time programmed with this Shadow we did'nt know at the time that she was programed to do these things around this time of year. She has never been awake in the month of october so we never saw this coming until now. Problem is we don't know how to deal with it and neither does she, She has been trying to remember exactly what happen that day so we can go from there but nothing so far. We now have her bathed in light and she does not leave it thats all we know what to do so far (thank you Uriel) All the others are still sleeping and will be for a little while longer We did a head count last night and realised that a few normal fronters are missing so we have to go look for them as soon as possible. Terrence reversed the dome they were under so it now heals instead of drains and it seems to be working so far. We that are front now are getting very drained because we are not use to being front to start with and now we have been here for a few days. We are not sure what is going to happen to Kirtana when she does remember and we are also not sure what to do IF she remembers what happen. I guess we will have to deal with that when it comes and for now just keep moving at the pace we have been and take it one day at a time.

Montego of The Ramadons

MY NAME IS SAM EYE L , I WILL DESTROY
MY NAME IS SAM EYE L, I WILL DESTROY
MY NAME IS SAM EYE L, I WILL DESTORY

Hello

Well it seems that we have found that the whole reason for what has happened was because there was information being passed to the "Dark ones" as to what goes on up front what was being done to protect the body and the system this time of year and it was all passed to them so they could successfully integrate their plan. What they failed to count on was The Ramadons and The Honorables being summoned. We have since being front took Thunder into custody and his sidekick ( for lack of a better word) Shady. There are approximatly 135 others who were involved in the attempted overtaking of the front. Now the problem being is the information that was passed was not only the front plan and everything that was in place for protection but also the severe fears of every adult front, A dome was built and every person over the age of 15 was put in it. Now the problem is the dome was created to pierce into every one of their fears and make it real in their mind, They all seem to be stuck at a point in their life they feared the most and are unable to break away from it, It seems it has drained every ounce of energy, spirit and their will to live and move on. Servival has always been a big issue within this system and for a long time we teetered right on the edge then we brought ourselves foward step by step and began to move on with life now that has all gone and i am not so sure they are going to ever be the same after this. It has come to my attention also that for a while now the front has been putting up a wall to all those around them telling people they are fine everything is good and nothing is wrong when in fact they could not be further from the truth. They have been very slowly cutting themselves off from the world and everyone they speak to or have a relationship with. We are not sure what caused this or how long it has been going on but i do believe that the dark ones had alot to do with it. Their presence up here can be felt even though they are not here it is very depressing and draining even for myself so i believe they are responsible for the change in those who stand front and take care of it. Their lack of self esteem and self worth is frightening i have never seem any of them this bad in my time being here. It is saddening that we strived for so long to servive only to almost be defeated by traitors within our system. It makes me sad and angry that because of what has been done we now have to face the fact that even though we are away from our original abusers that we now have to face some within this system that are just as bad and some even worse then the originals and they are lurking everywhere within. We were created to keep the host safe and eventually to keep each other safe but now that this has happened who is going to keep the inside safe from those whos only wish is to destroy what we have accomplished? I am not sure what the plan is going to be for front but i do know it is going to be a very long time before it comes back to even being semi normal. The dark ones have taken whatever the adults where holding on to for hope and destroyed it. So this is my writing i may post again tomorrow. I just needed to get this out so i could get the body some rest. Goodnight.

Kirtana of the Ramadons

hello

hello out there i found this place because you guys inside are so maticulus in keeping order around here *laughs* just thought i would post and let you all know that even though things are happening that are out of your control right now that we are here and fighting for you, Don't give up hope i know it seems bleak right now but if you think you all have been through ALOT worse then this as i can remember so we are here and if nessassary we will call in the rest of the family you all WILL be safe just hang tight for a bit.

Lexi of the Ramadons

whoever is listening......

whoever is listening im coming to the door...
whoever is listening i cry until im sore.....

whoever is listening its not like i hoped
whoever is listening when i walked i moped....

whoever is listening i tried to hold my head high.....
whoever is listening i thought i would die......

whoever is listening the pain will never end.....
whoever is listening my heart should mend

whoever is listening i think its enough
whoever is listening im not that tough

whoever is listening all i want is a friend
whoever is listening its all coming to an end

whoever is listening their gone for good
whoever is listening our future is understood

whoever is listening it was ment to be this way
whoever is listening this is my final day

whoever is listening i stare at the blade
whoever is listening my life has been a cherade

whoever is listening i wont take anymore
whoever is listening please open the door

whoever is listening the blood runs thick
whoever is listening it was only suppose to be a nick

whoever is listening my life fades away
whoever is listening theres nothing more to say

thanks for listening.......

day 5 and counting

im not to sure what to do within Raine gave an idea last night and we are all thinking about it.....we have never tried to call the Ramadons front because everything that is anywhere near them freezes we are not sure of the after affects of them fronting or if they are even awake and if not we dont want to wake them incase thats a bad idea to everything we try to do to make it safer front gets destroyed somehow.....some of the ones front with me are not so friendly and getting hard to deal with they are bugging the littles and middles to no end until they cry and scaring them and if anyone else stands up to them they threaten to either do harm to the body or lead the dark ones to us and help them take over....im doing my best along with the others that are with me we wanted to try pr*ying but a few are leary of making things worse because we know that a few that were front did not like religion at all so we dont know if it will make things worse so i guess we will see how it all pans out

run run as fast as you can.....

its that time of year again.....time to set up the walls, the forts, the cages, the lights and all the other fun stuff that goes along with this time of year....knowing full well it dont matter what you do to prepare yourself its never enough....something always happens that was not expected and you were not ready for and now you have to deal with it the best way you can and see fit to do and hope that all goes well and is over as soon as possible. that never seems to happen here though something crops up and BAM we are thrown into hell on earth and there was no way of knowing it was coming....all that tends to be left is few little ones who end up hurting more then ever and having more secrets to hide from more terror to keep them quiet.....most to all protectors are gone to who knows where and whether their even coming back all the while a very dark cloud hangs over and it seems to go on forever.....you are thrown into a world you never thought possible and now you stand looking around wondering what you did this time to cause so much pain felt within....you do your best to make light of whats happening so the little ones that are left do not give up and retreat to the dark ones yet you yourself sit and wonder if going back to the dark ones would just be soooo much easier you know that thinking is wrong yet it seems soooo much easier to simply give in and go with them. you start working on the lights up front and the safe room created but come to find it has been destroyed by ev*l and is now in shambles now your lost and dont know what to do....this has only reenforced your previous thinking about giving in but you dont you start the thinking process and figure out what your next step is the little ones are crying and hiding everyone who use to be here is gone you have never been front at all in your entire life now you are thrown into it also having to take care of inside to it starts breaking you down physically and mentally and your not to sure what to do. everything that everyone else use to do has been thrown on your plate and you are now responsible for EVERYTHING that goes on both inside and out so here you are brand new to the fronting thing and you are now the sole person to run everything without anything breaking down and stopping the dark ones from taking full control. you yourself have MANY issues with this time of year yet you now have to set all of that aside and try to funtion with everything else and not let what happen in 1994 happen again ok so here it is i stand alone to face all of this and well to be honest i hope i can make it we are on day 4 of the dark side saga and i honestly hope it dont last long

coming down

wolf is bring the entire system down its not good she is so depressed it is affecting all of us it is hard enough to funtion around this time of year and she is not helping any i think this whole ordeal with her brother pushed her over the edge im not sure how to contain her feelings from the system but we need to figure something out because this is insane

im not sure how many come here but just incase you didnt get the message there is an e-mail about it so please read i do not want anyone walking blindly into something no more contact is to be made with the brother until further notice now i know this is going to hurt alot of you because of the neices issue but this is Wolf's health at steak please be advised this is serious you can still call the neices but only when the brother is at work no other time is it allowed and be sure Wolf is near by when you do so she can atleast hear them so she knows they still love her.

Saul

hi

hi im jessa and im 9 i dont no what 2 do here i just got here 2dai and im lost i dont lik being alon but i am what can i do abowt it this was on the scren so i cam here 2 find anione but noone is here wer do i find somone 2 talk 2? jessa

its here

that time of year is lurking again and you know what i think we would be alright if next month didnt exsist if it went away forever we would be fine minus the spats here and there i think we would servive a whole lot better it seems O*tober lingers forever and doesnt go away or takes forever to leave then we have to deal with the aftermath of the month its all so much work and you can never really prepare for it no matter how hard you try something always seems to happy that you were not counting on and did not prepare for stupid month stupid ab*se around this month damnit

finally settleing in

we are settleing in nicely here and it is just that nice. We live by our own rules and do as we please with no recourse from anyone or anything. we have sattelite and internet and now we have our phone so its all falling together atleast maybe this is the up we needed to get on with life and grow as a person/persons. anyway thats all for now i guess

finally

in our own place finally gettin set up its a bitch cuz there is so much confusion on whos who and whats what but we are getting there slow and sure lol its not as big a mess as it was yesterday actually its pretty clean ( we let the obsessive clean people out for a day lol) looks really good got more stuff to move in but it all takes time rome wasnt built in a day so Tyrone says so yeah there it is WE ARE IN

well heres life for you

well our place we were suppose to get fell through the landlord backed out on us fuckin jerk two weeks before we were suppose to move in we went to see him to give our deposit and he tells us oh well hold on to it because i might have the place sold Tyrell looked at him like " and when the hell were you gonna tell us about it?" he says the house is to much for him blah blah blah but we did manage to find an apartment atleast its not huge but we can have the dog and its a nice secure building where people cant get in unless they buzz you so thats a good thing. had a bout with fleas on Jade which isnt cool cuz they can flare up her mange if left untreated then she has to be put down wont have internet in a couple days for about 2-2 1/2 weeks which sucks ass but hell you do what you gotta do to get stable, once we are stable Raven wants to have a baby with mike so we will see what happens anyway enough for now more later

one more kick in the face.......

well here we go again we got a month before our place comes up and low and behold we have nowhere to live again, thought the people we moved in with were cool but they aint they turned out to be a bunch of users like everyone else in our life so far we have spent 150 bucks in 2 weeks feeding 5 people when we were only suppose to be feeding us and mike.....say something and here we sit in 6 days we gotta be out all because Tyrone said that we were not their house maid and we were not their grocery store....seems to be typical of our life lately anyway not much more to say just hoping and praying we make it a month

ok bloggin a bit

ok so here goes,

im alive all tha rest are alive but to say we are doin ok would be a lie, we have now moved 5 hours away from everythin we know an trust to a place we know nuthin about an dont know anyone which sucks BIG TIME but....we didnt have a choice in tha matter inside was hell outside was hell an we were 2 steps from bein locked up in tha phych ward for a breakdown not cool.....we do have our own place set up but cant get it till sept 1st which right now is an eternity away but we are dealin one day at a time, We did get ta keep tater so that was cool but had ta give up tha fish an tha hamster but thats life still wit mike he aint bad now but he almost got choked out a month ago but that was his families fault well i should go cuz well we are very tired an livin hell inside wit flashbacks/bady memories/gettin stuck back there/ oh an tha voices thats another story for later interestin but weird well see ya

Tyrell Adrian Adams

yet another update

well not as good as the last one and it doesnt seem like many care but thats ok Raine does and thats all that matters to us right now at this point. not being rude but hey thats life. mikes mom passed away on the 17th of last month and all hell broke lose now we need to get out and get out now because of his family they are pushing and not letting up bank said no to the morgage cant find a home to live in they are selling this one and our car is screwed. had to sell the sled to fix the car and still did not get enough to fix whats wrong. hurt our back now we are on 3 more meds for pain have to have x-rays on monday. pension wont pay for a back brace and they are like 400 dollars here so yeah all our friends moved away and now we are alone, they are to far away to drive to and we cant afford the gas anyway, to much pain to sit at the comp for a long period of time so here it is like the last one said if you want to talk to us text us and we can come on but unless that happens you wont see us

Jack T K

update

ok here it is well first off our comp died 2 months ago havent had one since but got a cell so we can be text still if anyone cares lol comp should be running tonight at some point, we have our own car now along with a lisence lmao most of our bills are gone we dont owe anyone sept ron and well we always owe him so its normal. bought a 4 by 4 truck to haul our new sleds around working on getting a morgage for our own home banks being a jerk but "good things come to those who wait" or so im told. we now have 50 baby fish along with all the other fish we already had plus a hamster that bites (little jerk) our best friend julie is moving 5 hours away to finally make herself happy with her new b/f ( im proud of her) brothers are moving to calgary b/f's good we are good the weather has alot to do with it i think its beautiful here our dog is good sister in law had her baby Cathrine Grace 7 pounds 13 ounces born april 2nd anyway will post more later have things to do on the go all the time later

Wonderings part 2

 Do fish fart?
Does dirt have feelings?
do snails get mad cause they can only go slow?
do skunks wish they didnt stink?
do giraffifs get sore necks?
do bears actually like fish or do they eat it cause they have to?
does garbage decompose after 1000 years?
do people in coma actually hear you speaking to them?
do dogs get headaches?
do hummingbirds wings get tired?
when dogs chase their tails is it for fun or is it cause they dont know what it is?
why do cats love catnip so much?
why do fiddler crabs only walk sideways?
does it hurt when a porcupine loses its quills?
why do old men grow hair out of their ears?
do dust mites have a brain?
do spiders ever get tired of making really pretty webs?
do rats like living in the sewers?
does the blood in a possum rush to its head from hanging upside down?
why do bats always turn left coming out of a cave?