here i am standing front i rose from the not so nice part of this system, now i know whats going on here and so far other then capturing one....the darker ones are winning, today our hand was placed on a very hot pot handle resorting in a bandaged hand and pain medication. there was a note explaining why it was done and what would happen if they continued to fight. im not sure what their plan is now but they all look so very tired and close to the edge, they are moving on and looking for the "light" shall we say but they cannot see it, yes they may tell you they can but they dont, 2 of them have already left because they have given up, the funny thing about all this is that they all were warned by Rogan this was going to take place, they did take precaution but they did not do it throughly enough, and here is the consequence because of it. i was speaking to a really good friend of the system today and she informed me that she has seen this coming for a little bit now, she noticed things that were not right with the system and she thought it was just stress so she left it alone. today she apologized for that. It was not her fault and i did explain that to her. she stopped talking to the system for a bit because she was always greeted with nastyness when she tried. i was the one to contact her and she explained everything to me as i explained to her what was going on with us. she wants us to go to the hospital for observation and for safety but that is not an option, the hospital does not do that here. the ones whoare left front are doing their best but you can see them slowly wearing down from being sleep deprived and they slowly feel as if they are going insane. i do not want to prsent myself as of yet because where i came from they will most likely not accept me because i back in 1993 was the cause of their hospitalization and almost total destruction. I have learned since then that our past is NOT what our future holds, it could hold happiness and freedom but i at the time was also programmed to destroy. i did not realize that i did have my own mind and thoughts and could actually be a part of something good for once all i knew was what i had been taught in the most cruelest manor but taught none the less. i have changed and want to help it is just a matter of how to present myself without getting thrown in with Marc.
BloodNight
Thursday, November 08, 2007
the dark and twisted side
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12 comments:
marc is where he is becasue he chose to be i would perhaps if i were you prove i was on their side and help prevent these injuries, you want to be heard and seen prove you are how you say you are and protect them
I have taken matters of Sam into my own hands, he knows of me and what i did in 1993 and i am sure i can make him believe that i am here to do it again. all i need to do is find him. the injury to our hand was done way before i even came front i did not know it had happened until i came out and saw the bandage and read the note. I then took us to the hospital to get something for pain and to get some cream to settle the burn.
BloodNight
im not sure what taking matters fo sam in hand means? NAythign to do with sam and matters at hand have already been taken care of as in shes locked up, is confused email me if that is easier
JIP...I believe BN is referring to Sam (eyeL) in their system.
I'm not sure I understand either, except that is clear that the system is in crisis. Someone inside needs to take charge and get help in whatever way possible.
oh thanks fallen now i get it soon as we see sam we go what now sorry to those who might have got upset:P
it is ok, yes i ment our sam sorry for that, i have agreed to meet him tonight to "make plans" so i do hope it works out. i will prove to them that i have changed for the better and tonight will show that
Well...I HAD come back to comment on the post but what I wanted to say has flown from my mind! I finally understand the term "disordered thinking". :| And I am NOT referring to your post but rather to the above comment. :|
W
just checking on you guys
I believe if you introduce yourself to Terrence he will not throw you in with Marc and Sam. The Ramadons can see inside pretty well. Actually I am surprised they have not read this post and responded.
I have made a date with sam and darigan for the 15th to "follow through with the plan" i did intriduce myself to Terrence and he agreed to keep distance from me so he does not spook them. i told them how i did what i did in 93 and they seemed really interested in doing it again sooooo i hope that by meeting them i can help in some way, i tried to get ahold of darshan but no luck im not to sure what to think about him in one way he didnt seem to care about the system and its problem but he also didnt seem interested in making things worse, i am going to call someone about him and see what they think, Terrence thinks we should catch him to so i guess that is a possibility.
BloodNight
thank you everyone for your comments it is nice to know the system isnt completly alone like we were back then. i have apologized for what i did and want to prove i have changed, Terrence has given me a chance but only one and i do not blame him.
BloodNight
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