its so screwed inside

its retarded inside that kid wont stop cryin they cant figure out why noone is showin any emotion at all sept that kid and the other one....Rain Tasha and she dont know why she is feelin the way she is.....we have asked so Tyrone has left to find the Ramadons because they aint answering sooooo in a few days we will know more anyway thats pretty much it if i missed anything just ask

Reckless

well

well number 2 has almost completly woken up and is now crying at the top of her lungs and will not let anyone near her at all. We have still not figured out why she is awake or how for that matter and not being able to get near her makes things alot worse for us. I have called Luther back and Tyrone is going to call the Ramadons back or atleast ask for their advise, He does not want to because they were so drained from thier last bowt front that he does not want to desturb them again. We are going to try for a few more days atleast to try and get lead way with her but if it does not work then Tyrone will call on Terrence again. Everytime someone gets within 5 feet of her she screams and cries so noone will chance it again.

Robin

it seems

It seems that number 2 is waking up, That is the reasoning behind the emotionless looks inside, We have not figured out why she is waking up but from what Luther told me this has never happened before, Number 2 has been asleep for 25 years the reason is very tramatic and not something i will post because of its triggering quality. But for some unknown reason she is waking and has been since the 23rd of december. Now the problem is we do not know how or why or even when or what to do. She is having an effect on the system as a whole and again not to sure as of why it is that way. Shanoah has been called as well as Demonica in hopes that they will be able to understand why and fill us in or they will know who will be able to explain this to us. Number 2 has been in a sound proof padded room fast asleep for 25 years and now she is beginning to awake and we do not understand why. Everyone is mono tone inside they still go on day to day just without emotion. So there it is now we have to figure out how to deal with it.

Robin

not to sure

well we are not to sure about today......for some reason it just did not feel like christmas should feel. There was an empety feeling that just would not go away all day it has been there, we went to the brothers house to watch our neices open their gifts and we were blah in feeling. There was a void there that just did not ease off. We thought maybe it was because we were so tired but as the day went on the feeling did not go away. We went and did our rounds to our brothers house and mikes sisters house then to the other sisters house then we came home to continue cooking our dinner. When we got back we sat with mike and opened all our gifts and yet with everything that we got the void was still there. We hugged and thanked mike for all he gave us and pasted on a smile yet it was fake. We cooked dinner and got everything together and then ate thought maybe it was because we had not eaten in a long while so once we were done we sat on the couch to watch some t.v and yet the voidness was still there. I went on a search to find the sorce and came up with nothing. It is all over inside there just seems to be no feeling at all anywhere except when it comes to Rain Tasha, She seems to be over experiencing feelings they seem to be going to an extreme with her. I have contacted Luther and he will be here shortly and maybe he can help us figure it out. Today we thought that everyone would be so happy with their gifts and such yet there was no emotion at all from anyone. It is a blank expression all around, Noone is really talking to each other and there is no emotion on anyones face except Rain's and hers are expressions of fear, anziety,stress, mistrust and sadness. The void has actually escalated since this morning and all is done and over with. So as of right now i am unsure of our next step but i will post when i have more news.

Robin

it is that time

it seems to be that time of year again....it always seems to sneak up when you least expect it to....seems though that after all that has happened here in the last 2 almost 3 months there does not seem to be any big triggers happening which is a good thing.......everyone inside is awake now and regular duties have gone back to order, the anziety level is way low and so is the stress not getting hopes up or anything but maybe this christmas is going to be alright for once.....went to toronto on saturday to pick up a really good friend of ours and on the way back we ran into a huge snow storm......the roads were slick and driving slowed to a crawl but it was safer that way being how we were on a 400 series highway which is like 4 lanes : we made it through that ok missed our turn to come home though and ended up driving an extra hour and a half, went to bed when we got home and woke up to nearly 4 feet of snow on the ground that was not cool for alot of us but the younger ones just loved it theywent tobogganing and built a snowman then it was time to come in cause well we almost had frostbite lol because of the age size and the tires on our car when driving everyone is restricted from fronting because well the roads suck and an accident is not something we want right now......we are going christmas shopping tomorrow in the town next to us well its about an hour and a half away but they have better stores and they are cheaper so that is where we are headed.......today it was dreary outside because it was trying to rain so i can just imagine what the roads will be like if it does no matter we are going come hell or high water lol its an outing for us which is something we do not get very often. we bought another car today for 500 bucks its a 1991 dynasty and all it needs is some body work and the front brakes so we can park our car and fix it right because here in ontario our car is classed as a classic because it is 25 years old so we want to look after it and fix it up so it can go in car shows and stuff so yeah anyway thats pretty much it

The Crew

we are somewhat back

well we are somewhat back for the most part, most have been woke up and are funtioning at their old jobs again others have been left asleep because of the damage that was done to them in the dome. Everyone seems alot happier then what they were when they went in including Wolf which is awesome. Terror and his puppets were not what we had expected to be pinned against but we made it thanks to everyone who held support for us both inside and out. Terror himself is now locked deep within a cave never to return up front again even though he was given an option to change and join us. He was deprogrammed but the damage was already done to him and it was to severe to undo so he will remain there until whenever. The others that were under his lead have now decided that they will join Luther in the forest so they can help him do his job with greater ease then before. Tyrone is funtioning as always but happier then before and we have met some others while this all took place that we did not know even lived within our system. We have come away with a better understanding of how things work inside and what are some trigger buttons. We are well on our way to stablizing again and we do hope it stays that way for a bit just till the new year atleast then well who knows really. So that is pretty much the short version of it someone else might post exactly what happen i donno but there it is

Farren

here it comes

well it happened Daemon is now runnin lose inside and there aint noone around that i can see just me and my brother and Daemon. I have been callin for 3 days straight now for someone ANYONE to come front and yet there is nuthin and noone i aint to sure what to do or whats goin on but i know it aint good i tried to wake some up in the dome today and got nowhere sept sore fists and the feelin of big time defeat. so i have been holdin front best i can and hopin that sooner or later someone will come. i started eating yesterday even though food is not my thing at all but i started to feel real sick and worn out so the guy we live with checked our blood sugar and it was 3.9 he said that wasnt good we had to eat so i did checked it today after eatin stuff and it was 4.9 so i dont know if thats good or bad or what but thats what it was so here i am not to sure what else to do sept sit around till help comes and hope its soon i am workin with my brother to teach him things are ok now that he can do stuff he wants to do and he seems to be doin somewhat ok with it still wont eat or go to the bathroom but we are workin on it. so thats about it oh also was showerin and stuff today and found a small lump right infront of our left ear so gotta go to the doctor and get that checked i guess thats what the guy says that we live with. so guess we are doin that tomorrow our appt is at 2:30 so we will see

IMARI

you know what

i may only be 14 but im not fuckin stupid by any means, my little brother was out and yes he has issues with his speech but you know what that dont make him any less of a person that dont mean hes "flashin" it dont mean shit sept that he has a speech problem so dont push him or call to others or get freaked out when you talk to him when he says he is fine he damn well means he is fine if he wernt he would tell you. i also know that you all have never met me before and alot of you dont like me but you know what im not here to be liked im here for other reasons much more important then being liked by people. yes i have an attitude and yes i can be rude and very cautious but you know what walk a mile in the shoes i have and then see how your opinion will change. as it stands right now shit is going to go down if inside dont change real soon someone is going to wake up and all hell will break lose because he is feeding on the fact that all are sleeping and not guarded i can stop him from getting front but thats all i can do so dont judge me or my brother for the way we are cause you aint lived in our shoes iffin you dont like my act dont swing off my gate as my dad use to say another words if you dont like me stay away from me plain and simple im not here to be friends im here to keep the system safe so deal and if my brother is out dont go making him feel worse by callin someone else out cause you cant deal with him just dont talk to him

peace out
IMARI

Hello.

Hello everyone. My name is Shanoah i come from the tower on level 3. I have been watching for a very long time and have decided that they do need my help here so i have come to offer assistance. I am mainly here for Tyrone because someone needs him and right now he is not in very good shape to be of help to anyone. This person has always been there and we would like to return the favor the only way we can as to be there for them. So here i am and i am willing to answer any questions you may have.

Shanoah

The front

Well things seem to be almost back to normal up front, The cleaning is still going on and all but 6 of us are still asleep. The Ramadons and The Honorables have returned to where they came from very tired and worn out from being here for so long. We have 4 newbies to the front they are Farah, Sally, DarTanyon and Jersey. I would like to say welcome to them and i do hope they will feel comfortable. One other new yet not so new person to the front is Turccan we have made some modifications and now he has become Farah and sally's "father figure" Welcome all of you. I would also like to thank all those who have helped over the last little while we really appreciate the effort. Everyone else in here is still asleep to heal from what the dome had done to them ( They are also still asleep because i am enjoying the quiet for now :P) Their healing is much needed and they will get as much as i can give them. Home life has been a little ackward as we are getting phone calls from people we would rather not associate with and would rather they just disappeared. We also got a visit from the last person we expected and actions were taken to remove her immediatly along with her friends. I do hope that she got the point but in my heart i know she will be back. But that is for another day. So this is whats going on and again thank you to all those who have lent a hand.

Tyrone ~~GateKeeper~~

ok question

ok so here it is i was speaking to someone last night ( wont reveal name cause thats not right) and they told me that i dont have to do all the stuff i was spose to do when we were little....now why is that so? why is it that it is ok now to not do it but it wasnt ok then? i know we are not were we were 25 years ago but i still feel the need to do the things i use to do "just incase" i have been told repeatedly that it is alright but i see it as slacking off or goofin off whatever you call it and things dont get done and when they eventually do they arent done right, so what is wrong with taking the extra time to do things right so nuthin bad happens makes sence dont it? DarTanyon says we're cool an things arent like they were but what if ya know??? and how do you change what you have been taught for so long?? i was taught that things are not clean unless you spend atleast 6 or more hours cleaning itwhatever it may be, now thats wrong? now i dont have to do it that way, what has changed when it comes to bein clean? i mean dont get me wrong im not callin anyone out but i would like to know ya know? i mean are they truely 100% positive that nothing bad will happen if i dont take that much time to do things? anyway i guess i will go for now thats all i wanted to say

Jersey

Our saying for the day

Terror and control

ok well things seem to have calmed down quite a bit front and a bit further back. All those who were running amuck inside were caught and the one who was controlling their behaviour has also been caught and has been walled up so he cannot cause problems for now, I say for now because saying forever always ends up catching you with you pants down so to speak. So i will say fornow in the hopes that it is a very long time before this happens again. All those that are within the dome still have a bit of healing to do before they can be released and as far as the Ramadons go they have all gone back to sleep after a long and tiring battle. They were not ment to be front for as long as they were and it has wore them out extremely. I have begun clean up and will also begin rebuilding most likely tonight. There is alot of damage to the front rooms have been distroyed all toys that were front for the littles ones have burnt along with most everything else that was here. Luther is going to hang out front for a bit with me and help organize it all again so it can be somewhat normal when everyone wakes and starts moving around again. I am also going to build a room for Farah and Sally because they have decided to stay front instead of going back to sleep. They are going to be in charge of the littles rooms that have been destroyed with the help of others. Out of the 6 that were under Terrors control only 1 seemed to return to a "normal" person all the rest had to be locked away, They were given an option to change or be locked away where they could not cause any more harm and they chose the latter which was to be locked up in the further cave from front so they can live their remaining life there away from everyone, They CHOSE to be there so that is what they got. Anyway that is about it the phone calls have not stopped so i do believe we are going to have to have our number changed i will have to call about that tomorrow so until then we still have our ringer shut off it is safer and less triggering that way.

Jersey

ok well

ok well i changed my font cause im sick of seein white, anyway was talkin with BloodNight today and apparently Sameyel was in contact with him and wants to do the thing early to "catch us off guard" he has been playin a nasty little game with the little ones further back and has them all convinced that if they do not help him he will k*ll them all and they will be tortured for eternity. he has them running back and forth wakin others that shouldnt be awake and also sneakin out and cuttin the body all to hell. i caught one tonight just before he cut us and he freaked right out i mean seriously it was scary he was so convinced that he was going to be tortured somemore cuz he was caught that he passed out right in front of me i got him to Terrence who brought him around and now he is in a special light tent with Kirtana he wont talk though just huddles in the corner and says "im dead, im dead" Terrence told BloodNight to step it up so i guess its gonna happen tomorrow night instead of the 15th. Terrence has brought Luther and his Legion front they are hiding out and then there are a few others waiting plus myself so i guess we will see what happens. got a phone call today that was very unpleasent from a person i have dreaded and hated for our entire life, said they couldnt wait to see us again so we could all go back to the way it was and then hung up. got a few others today one being a unknown name and when i picked up they asked for Darigan, when i asked who it was they hung up so go figure. i dont care they dont scare me so they can do whatever they want, we have call screening so i can block the number when it comes up again. anyway so thats the plan so hopfully it goes right if it does then cool if not well back to the drawing board.

DarTanyon

the dark and twisted side

here i am standing front i rose from the not so nice part of this system, now i know whats going on here and so far other then capturing one....the darker ones are winning, today our hand was placed on a very hot pot handle resorting in a bandaged hand and pain medication. there was a note explaining why it was done and what would happen if they continued to fight. im not sure what their plan is now but they all look so very tired and close to the edge, they are moving on and looking for the "light" shall we say but they cannot see it, yes they may tell you they can but they dont, 2 of them have already left because they have given up, the funny thing about all this is that they all were warned by Rogan this was going to take place, they did take precaution but they did not do it throughly enough, and here is the consequence because of it. i was speaking to a really good friend of the system today and she informed me that she has seen this coming for a little bit now, she noticed things that were not right with the system and she thought it was just stress so she left it alone. today she apologized for that. It was not her fault and i did explain that to her. she stopped talking to the system for a bit because she was always greeted with nastyness when she tried. i was the one to contact her and she explained everything to me as i explained to her what was going on with us. she wants us to go to the hospital for observation and for safety but that is not an option, the hospital does not do that here. the ones whoare left front are doing their best but you can see them slowly wearing down from being sleep deprived and they slowly feel as if they are going insane. i do not want to prsent myself as of yet because where i came from they will most likely not accept me because i back in 1993 was the cause of their hospitalization and almost total destruction. I have learned since then that our past is NOT what our future holds, it could hold happiness and freedom but i at the time was also programmed to destroy. i did not realize that i did have my own mind and thoughts and could actually be a part of something good for once all i knew was what i had been taught in the most cruelest manor but taught none the less. i have changed and want to help it is just a matter of how to present myself without getting thrown in with Marc.

BloodNight

boo hoo

my god all you do around here is bawl and cry and bitch that things are going wrong well here is a news flash, GET USE TO IT. your friends over on the other blog beat their problem but aparently this sam chick was not as strong as she thought and she took to damn long to get her shit together that wont happen here, i called mother tonight and she is happy that we are awake and moving along with our plan as was planned by her a while ago. i like how you put everyone to sleep because its less stress for us trying to fight with them. so thank you for that. i also heard your plan to bring Luther front and his gang of creeps but they cannot stop us either. we will follow through, oh and i like your little plan with the T in 2 weeks...problem is do you think you will last that long? remember the hot water? still burns like a bitch dont it......waist down nice and bright red its a beautiful color really. you will see much more of it in the days to come

Darigan

my question is this....

ok so i have been "asleep" for well what seems to be 10 years or more i dont really know and really dont care. anyway my question is this....what do people REALLY mean when they say "I care" because it seems to me that nothing has changed since the last time i was awake.....back then we had a load of friends who said that exact phrase and here we are 10 years later and guess what....none of them are to be found ANYWHERE....so what does it really mean..."i care until i just cant be bothered anymore" or "i care until something else more interesting comes by" or " i care until you frustrate me to the point that i walk away" or " i care until i get so pissed off at not understanding you that i dump our friendship forever" or " i care but only when i feel like it" or " i care but dont bug me because i have problems of my own" i mean i could go on forever about this. why do people say it if in reality they really dont give a shit one way or the other, people claim they care because they are your friend but it never really turns out that way, what it boils down to is this " it was all i could think of to say" why exactly do people pretend they actually care when they dont? why not just walk away from the start and then less pain is caused because they were never there to start with.the way i see things is if you dont care then dont say you do, and if you truely do give a damn they stick with it dont give up and walk after 1 year or 10 years of friendship people do not realise how much pain they actually cause a person when they walk out of their life or they do and again they just dont care. i also believe that the phrase "im sorry" is way over used these days because its a quick out for people they say it and all is cool when in reality they didnt even mean it. so if you dont mean it why say it? just keep your damn mouth shut. it is NOT ok to say "i care" if you dont and it is also NOT ok to say "im sorry" if you dont mean it. it really pisses me off that people use those phrases so freely and then in the end they walk out or they just hurt you again. oh by the way this is not toward anyone in this blogging thingy here these are just my thoughts on past and recent happenings.

DarTanyon

Life is very bizarre

Life is very bizarre these days, One moment you are what you think is free and moving on and the very next moment you are trapped under a weight so heavy that you believe yourself to be dieing and your only thought is " how did i let this happen" I am not sure if anyone else thinks this way but we do many times, We have dragged ourselves from the gutter more then once just to be shoved into another almost instantly. I find it remarkable that a system can go through what they do and still servive. Now mind you not all systems do, Today is the anniversary of a dear friend we had long ago their host name was "Yvonne" We spoke with them almost nightly and into the dawn just trying to keep each other afloat in times we thought we would not make it. We spoke on the phone and wrote letters to each other it was a great relationship. they to had suffered only it was in the hands of their father that the suffering took place. they finally at the age of 13 moved in with their uncle and aunt and tried to start their life brand new. It seemed to work for a while and we met when they were 17. We laughed and cried together for 6 years, and then one day 3 years ago we got a phone call from their aunt, Yvonne had overdosed and was in coma in the hospital. We went to see them they lived 3 hours away from where we did and we hitchhiked just to see them. When we got there we were greeted with the aunt and uncle who asked us right away why Yvonne would do such a thing what was wrong with her. IWe could not tell them because we did not know. We sat with Yvonne for 2 days straight and then we had to leave. When we got home there was a letter waiting for us from Yvonne stating quite clearly that they just could not do it anymore it was all to much and they had noone. They wrote that they loved us very much and thanked us for being their friend and that we would never be forgotten. Now here we sit wondering what we are going to do and how we are going to servive and the answer is clear the same way we always have we have not made it this far just by luck alone there is a reason and that reason is to remember all those who could not make it this far to fight for them to remember them and to never let them be forgotten. Yvonne was special in many ways but they could just not fight their dem*ns there were just to many and they were so very young. So this is for you Yvonne may you not be forgotten and to all the others who have been we will remember and we will fight to keep your memory alive.

Forgotten Few

Not so sure of ourselves right now

hi well not to sure right now how we are going to make it through this things seem to be sliding down hill and it seems to be a snowball effect life inside is hellish to say the least and it is not getting any better, it is just us Ramadons and the honorables front that are copherent and 1 lonely little girl who wont speak or move from where she is. it is puzzling because noone should be awake or even moving with us here yet she stands at a distance and watches our every move. she is only i would say 4 maybe 5 years old very dirty looking and bruised also very thin and sickly looking. not a one of us can get near her because she screams and goes into a rage if we try. what is left of us is very very tired and dragged out because we were never ment to be front for this long. we are trying to cope but its hard when you have noone in real life who understands you and can sit with you just to be a friend. We called the number Terrence got and what happen is what we had expected they did not understand and got very confused then in the end they thought it was a prank and threatened to have our number traced and call the police on us. So we now sit here hoping for the best and waiting.

Lexi

Please

Hello, My name is Terrence and i am one of the head leaders for this system. We have encountered a problem within and it has come to my attention that this is something we have never dealt with before. We have however found the source of the problem. It is a shadow program created when the body was a very small child. It took place at a ceremony that was involved with the c*lt. I am unable to resolve this problem as of yet and was wondering if anyone out there has had any kind of experience with this sort of thing before? And if so how did you resolve it? I am at a loss here and with some of the others front the rest are either sleeping or frozen in time due to what we carry within us. I am not sure how to comprehend this program it seems to be in a different language unknown to us. Any help would be very greatful.

Terrence