I was online with momma last night and she helped me through the issue of wanting to cut myself so badly.....i still do want to cut very much but she helped me through the night atleast......along with little Clay who slept in my lap last night out of fear that i would feel so alone i would actually cut......but i didnt....i made it the night.....it was tough....i kept going back to the site momma gave me and kept following the things on it........and i made it.......we talked about some stuff that i needed to get out.....and it helped in a small way.....the question also came up.......we have heard from so many different people that god is good and answers prayers and works in mysterious ways and there is always a reason for everything and so many other quotes.....so my question is this......why do people believe so much in someone who infact does not help? You are the one who changes your life......noone else......and if god does help so they say.....why did he not help us when we were so young and in so much danger? why did he leave us there to suffer at their hands......and they say god sees everything....well if that is the case then why does he let such horrible cruelty happen right in front of his own eyes and he just sits there and lets it happen? I mean i find it hard lets say impossible to believe in something that supposedly saw what happen to us and did nothing about it at all.......if he is sooooo good WHY did he let it happen?? I am not a believer in god....i never have been and when you think about it i think i have a good reason not to believe......as a matter of fact im pretty sure noone in here really believes and i guess the reason is clear.....i mean the devil.....now that we can believe in cause we have seen first hand what he can do and is capable of.........pure evil.......THAT we have seen and experienced.......we have lived it our whole life.......so i ask.......if god is so great and so powerful......why does he sit back and watch things like our past happen and do absolutly nothing to stop it.........
Cole
p.s -- thanks again momma.......for spending some time with me.....when noone else could or would.......
Saturday, February 16, 2008
just a post of thoughts.....
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4 comments:
you are very welcome. I just wish I could answer some of these questions for you honey.
These are really hard questions. I think the answer is that God doesn't help the way we think we would help if we could. He helps us in his way, not ours. Lots of times we may not be able to see that help, but that doesn't mean it wasn't there. Does that makes sense.
I know for me I think about what happened to me and I saw the same thing happen to other kids and they died. The fact I didn't die is considered a miracle by many. Sometimes even me. Looking back it is easier for me to see where I must have had help than it did at the time or even during therapy.
As for why would God let bad things happen, I heard it said once that such bad things happen because God gave us free will. If he stopped those things from happening, we wouldn't have free will, we would just be his puppets.
Sometimes I think free will isn't what it's cracked up to be but then someone comes along and tries to make me do something their way and I pretty much am there screaming and yelling that I have the right to make my own choices. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to live life without it.
I'd like to post about some of your questions on my blog sometime in the future. You let me know what you think about that.
hmmmmmm ALL the blogs are locked.........
you can do a post on them if you like, we have lots of questions but we decided to stop there for now being how we cant find answers for them yet so yeah that would be a good post to see go up
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